I just threw up in my mouth a little.

2/13/2013 Last Friday I went and picked up our Lupron…..and signed up for payroll deduction. I think my exact words were….”I just threw up in my mouth a little”. The payroll deduction total will be $4600 for the procedure and the Lupron alone was $485. I’m hoping to not have to refill the Lupron. I’m so extremely nervous that this whole process won’t work. I know I can’t think in negative terms….but once again…when you start adding up all of the factors…….it’s just such and incredible letdown. We’ve once again, been trying to conceive for almost a year. We started on our own in June, called the doctor in August (?) and met with our RE in November. Due to the clinics calendar, our December transfer was pushed to February, and due to finances and the new house, our February transfer has been moved to March. But, ready or not…..we’re in the midst of it! I think we got some “good news” today. We were planning on going to WI to see the Blecks this weekend, but how the cycle ended up working out, we found out we’d have to have blood work down on Monday. I called the clinic this morning to let them know I took my last BCP last night and that as far as first day of my period is concerned…..well, I’ve already been spotting for over a week. They said that since I’m already spotting, I can go ahead and have my blood drawn on Friday instead of Monday! Two good factors….our vacation can procede as scheduled and if our levels are low enough….we can go ahead and drop the Lupron amount a few days early…..hopefully meaning that we won’t have to refill the ($485) prescription!! So…..praying for a good outcome…..Also, I called the embryo storage company…..our embryos are headed to Mayo!! Everything seems to be going according to plan for a March 9 transfer. As for the shots themselves……what can I say……this time around has been a very lackluster experience. Every morning I get out my medication and start the routine…..by myself. Whereas last time, John laid out all the paraphernalia and alcohol swabs and stood by my side…..and after every injection he’d say, “thank you so much for doing this for our family”. This time…..John’s no where to be found….oh, but I can hear him alright….”Jack, Kyle….ENOUGH….SIT DOWN……EAT YOUR BREAKFAST”…..oh joy.

What a different experience this time around....

What a totally different experience this time around!! It’s not that we are any less excited than we were last time, but it’s a different type of urgency. We went from planning on doing our transfer in December to actually scheduling and rescheduling so that we are doing it on March 9. And it’s real this time. I’ve been on birth control pills (first step of the process) and have had my ultrasound and blood work done, but tomorrow, I actually take the first shot! I’m not nervous about the shots at all this time. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks having to stick yourself with a needle every day for a month, but just knowing that this is a frozen embryo transfer versus a fresh cycle – meaning less shot and most important, I get to bypass the painful intramuscular shot I needed last time in order to release eggs, I’m not sweating the shots as much as last time. Also, last time I feel that we had more one on one attention. Granted, we were doing procedure after procedure for a year straight so we were into the doctors more often, this time…..we have our “game plan” and really have been left on our own. I feel like I’m not really sure what’s going on on any given day…..I guess we’ll “wing it”. I will admit, the thing were are most worried about is just the possibility that this may not work. We’ve approached the situation as, “it worked so well last time….it’s a given” and now that the time is here…..we know that nothing is ever a given….and we are just praying for a first round success……because I’m not sure we’ll have the resources to try again.

My my - how time has flown by!

I'll just date this entry........June 2012. So, John and I are ready to have another baby!! We've discussed it....mulled it around, and decided to try on our own for a bit. September, 2012 Buzz and Biff's wedding.....still haven't gotten pregnant.....we'll make a plan to call the doctor. October, 2012 Spoke with our RE and asked her advise as to what steps are next. Continue trying on our own, or come in. She says "come on in" and we schedule an appointment for November. November comes.....we've a plan in place. We'll plan on doing a FET (frozen embryo transfer) and we'll start with 6 brand new (frozen) embryos. Culture those and take the best 2 for implantation. (and hope at least one takes). Transfer scheduled for December 21....although the clinic is closed that week. Transfer has been moved back to January due to clinic being closed during Christmas break. In the meantime, we've found a house we absolutely LOVE and we are planning on moving the week of Christmas anyway. Looks like our transfer is being moved to February/March timeframe. Okay....all caught up!!

32 Weeks 4 days

Appointment yesterday morning!! It went very well. Not only did we get to see both the boys, but they also had a "clean bill of health". Baby A is at 4 lbs. 13 oz and Baby B is at 4 lbs. 11 oz. SO CLOSE to 5 each!! :) They have both been so extremely active the last couple weeks....I can hardly catch my breath after shoving one butt back into place, I have to shove the other back out of my rib cage. We were surprised to learn that Baby B is actually the "mover and shaker". We've been worried about him because I rarely feel him move, especially compared to A, but the ultrasound tech said, "oh no, he's the mover". So, it must just be the way he's positioned that I can't feel him as well. So we feel better.

Hum....what else? The visit with the doc went well. Davies was out this week so we saw Dr. Brost for the second time. I liked him much better this time than last. Must take me a little bit to warm up to people. They are all so impressed with how well the boys are growing. Took a lot for us to get pregnant, but boy, they all say I can sure "grow some babies". They said that A is still head down and that he's really low. Starting to make his descent I guess. B is still breech, which they aren't concerned about, but it does make things a little more complicated because now at this point, it's my decision whether or not to have a c-section or go naturally.......we'll see what they say next week. I guess I won't make any decisions until we get a little closer. Speaking of close....Dr. Brost thinks I could go in another 3 weeks. Again, only speaking in averages. He said it is extremely rare that they have to induce at 38 weeks.....well, looking back at my track record, that will most likely be me!! If that's the case, the babies will most likely be 7 1/2 lbs. each! If we go at 36, they'll be 6 1/2.

Couple other things.....he thinks my rash was not the PUPP but perhaps an allergic reaction to something. He said a. PUPP does NOT go away, which mine seems to have and b. PUPP typically isn't as severe as what I had.....the scars, scabs, and swelling I have/had. Lastly, we got our work restrictions. Yay! I will now be working from 7:30 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. Monday - Friday. I am very much looking forward to that!!

And....we were lucky! Baby B FINALLY decided to cooperate....we have a new photo of him. We were so happy.....it's been a while since we've seen him :)

Week 32

Crapola! 32 down, 6 left to go....although, I could have sworn it's been 6 weeks already for two weeks!! So, let's just say 5? LOL! Optimsitically speaking of course :)

Not a lot to report, since I did the mid-week "fill in". My work is throwing a baby shower for me over lunch this afternoon and John is driving into Rochester for it....I am so lucky to have met such kind and supportive people in this department. I am going to do absolutely everyting I can to hold a spot so that in a year or so, I'll be able to come back.

We started our prenatal classes on Tuesday. Not bad...not really much to talk about. We had a full group of couples. John and I of course had the earliest due date and were the only ones having multiples, so that shows you how far behind we were in planning classes!! I think the next closest due date to ours was two weeks behind us and the majority of them were into May. We told the instructor that we'd try to make it to all of them, but that it would be a toss-up. Tonight we have our "Magnificant Mulitples" class....we are really excited to learn some insider info on having multiples!

As I think about what I've already typed so far, it all sounds so familiar, I must have shared most of this information the other day, so I'll just stop now and post this weeks photos.....I seem to "pop" almost daily now!!





Bish and I went for pedicures on Monday. I did baby blue for when I have the boys :)

31 weeks 5 days

Hum....a mid week post? That is so unlike me? Nothing new to report, again, so unlike me. Just thought I would pop in and let everyone know that things have been going MUCH better! I still have the rash, but not nearly as bad as it was. And the itching really only acts up in the middle of the night! It must be a combination of the twice daily showers with the "old man soap", the twice daily dose of antihistamine, prescription topical ointment, and "good" lotion!! I think I'll have a few scars from the scabs that turned into sores, but after how I felt last week, I'll take it.

The boys have been SUPER active the past two weeks and I'm starting to feel a little blue thinking about after their born how I won't feel them all the time and have them "with me" at all times. Trying to explain this to John, I could just tell he couldn't understand. He said, "what do you mean? They'll be in the hospital room with us, or right down the hall in the nursery"....yes darling, my point exactly! They will no longer be "with me" at all times. After all this time we've had together, I know I'll really miss the bumps, kicks, rolls, and tugs... :(

We start our prenatal classes tonight (6 weeks of every Tuesday evening) and it'll be a toss up whether or not we make it through all of the classes before the boys come. I only hope they cover some of the important things in the beginning! This Thursday we are taking a Magnificent Multiples class, which we are super excited about. We are hoping we get some "tip and tricks" in regard to sleep schedules, likes, dislikes, etc. Grandma says that we'll just "learn". I told her I didn't want to learn the hard way if I didn't have to and she said, "you will". Thanks G'Ma!

Not a lot else right now. We'll be 32 weeks on Thursday and we head back to the doctor on Tuesday...I'll have a new weight report and baby placement update for you!

Week 31

Getting there!! I have to say, I am starting to feel much better. Either it's the new ointment from the doctor, or it's the "old man soap" I've been using. The stuff is REALLY smelly (and actually, I think that's the cause of my recent "morning sickness"). Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap.....smelly!! But, the rash is clearing up and I had a couple of stretches last night where I slept for several hours in a row. I think I had an attack at 11 p.m., 4 a.m., and 6 a.m. So whatever I've been doing the last couple days, I'll continue doing.

Had a doctor appointment on Tuesday (after the embarrassing run in with my doc at the triage on Monday). They did an ultrasound and while we were unable to get any photos of the boys (there's just no room for them) we were able to get their measurments and growth ratios.

Baby A = 3 lbs. 11 oz 65% percentile
Baby B = 3 lbs. 10 oz 62% percentile

I told the doc that I was starting to get a little nervous about how BIG their heads are looking!! I guess they say it's not the head to worry about, but their shoulders...

He asked what my thoughts were on labor....what a loaded question right? I told him, "well, I'd rather it be sooner than later". And so we discussed time frame. He has said he won't let us go past 38 weeks, which will be April 15, which is a Friday. The "fine line" is that they only do inductions on Monday's. So I asked him if we'd be able to be induced on the 11th, or if he'd make us wait til the 18th. He said the 18th. I said, "COME ON!"......and then he said that he fully expects me to go on my own before then. So, it could be anytime from now until the 18th. 7 weeks tops (give a few days. Everyone is so concerned about us and what happens when the boys come, and how we are going to be sooo exhausted. I have to be honest, I love the boys sooo much already, and love feeling them move inside of me, and see their growth each time we go to the doctor, but honestly, they have sapped every bit of "life" out of me. Even the lady at the hair salon said that my hair, nails, and eye brows aren't growing like a normal prengant woman because the babies are taking so much from me. And the sleep issue, and the discomfort. I can't wait for the day that I have a little energy and ambition to make it through the days. I don't mind losing sleep at night to feed the babies....it'll beat losing sleep becuase of all these other issues I've been experiencing. We'll be just fine! (famous last words?)

Oh, and the other bit of good news is that Baby A has flipped back down! So, B is still breech and doc asked what my plans were for c-section, epidural, etc....I think he was asking what my preference would be and I of course was dying to say "c-section!!" but of course said, "let's go natural". I'm planning on having an epidural anyway so if he does have to "reach in and grab B's leg and pull him out"...well, I'm not going to feel it anyway! :)

That's about it for now.....I've attached the newest photos. As of Tuesday, I was still at 22 lbs. gained for the entire pregnancy. I dropped 6 lbs. from the week before. I thank my husband for giving me the nasty stomach bug (AGAIN).

John wanted a photo of me from the back, he says you can't even tell I'm pregnant!