I just threw up in my mouth a little.

2/13/2013 Last Friday I went and picked up our Lupron…..and signed up for payroll deduction. I think my exact words were….”I just threw up in my mouth a little”. The payroll deduction total will be $4600 for the procedure and the Lupron alone was $485. I’m hoping to not have to refill the Lupron. I’m so extremely nervous that this whole process won’t work. I know I can’t think in negative terms….but once again…when you start adding up all of the factors…….it’s just such and incredible letdown. We’ve once again, been trying to conceive for almost a year. We started on our own in June, called the doctor in August (?) and met with our RE in November. Due to the clinics calendar, our December transfer was pushed to February, and due to finances and the new house, our February transfer has been moved to March. But, ready or not…..we’re in the midst of it! I think we got some “good news” today. We were planning on going to WI to see the Blecks this weekend, but how the cycle ended up working out, we found out we’d have to have blood work down on Monday. I called the clinic this morning to let them know I took my last BCP last night and that as far as first day of my period is concerned…..well, I’ve already been spotting for over a week. They said that since I’m already spotting, I can go ahead and have my blood drawn on Friday instead of Monday! Two good factors….our vacation can procede as scheduled and if our levels are low enough….we can go ahead and drop the Lupron amount a few days early…..hopefully meaning that we won’t have to refill the ($485) prescription!! So…..praying for a good outcome…..Also, I called the embryo storage company…..our embryos are headed to Mayo!! Everything seems to be going according to plan for a March 9 transfer. As for the shots themselves……what can I say……this time around has been a very lackluster experience. Every morning I get out my medication and start the routine…..by myself. Whereas last time, John laid out all the paraphernalia and alcohol swabs and stood by my side…..and after every injection he’d say, “thank you so much for doing this for our family”. This time…..John’s no where to be found….oh, but I can hear him alright….”Jack, Kyle….ENOUGH….SIT DOWN……EAT YOUR BREAKFAST”…..oh joy.

What a different experience this time around....

What a totally different experience this time around!! It’s not that we are any less excited than we were last time, but it’s a different type of urgency. We went from planning on doing our transfer in December to actually scheduling and rescheduling so that we are doing it on March 9. And it’s real this time. I’ve been on birth control pills (first step of the process) and have had my ultrasound and blood work done, but tomorrow, I actually take the first shot! I’m not nervous about the shots at all this time. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks having to stick yourself with a needle every day for a month, but just knowing that this is a frozen embryo transfer versus a fresh cycle – meaning less shot and most important, I get to bypass the painful intramuscular shot I needed last time in order to release eggs, I’m not sweating the shots as much as last time. Also, last time I feel that we had more one on one attention. Granted, we were doing procedure after procedure for a year straight so we were into the doctors more often, this time…..we have our “game plan” and really have been left on our own. I feel like I’m not really sure what’s going on on any given day…..I guess we’ll “wing it”. I will admit, the thing were are most worried about is just the possibility that this may not work. We’ve approached the situation as, “it worked so well last time….it’s a given” and now that the time is here…..we know that nothing is ever a given….and we are just praying for a first round success……because I’m not sure we’ll have the resources to try again.

My my - how time has flown by!

I'll just date this entry........June 2012. So, John and I are ready to have another baby!! We've discussed it....mulled it around, and decided to try on our own for a bit. September, 2012 Buzz and Biff's wedding.....still haven't gotten pregnant.....we'll make a plan to call the doctor. October, 2012 Spoke with our RE and asked her advise as to what steps are next. Continue trying on our own, or come in. She says "come on in" and we schedule an appointment for November. November comes.....we've a plan in place. We'll plan on doing a FET (frozen embryo transfer) and we'll start with 6 brand new (frozen) embryos. Culture those and take the best 2 for implantation. (and hope at least one takes). Transfer scheduled for December 21....although the clinic is closed that week. Transfer has been moved back to January due to clinic being closed during Christmas break. In the meantime, we've found a house we absolutely LOVE and we are planning on moving the week of Christmas anyway. Looks like our transfer is being moved to February/March timeframe. Okay....all caught up!!