Week 23

Well, here's its been a few weeks again since I posted any pictures. As I've told people, my photographer has been traveling and we just haven't gotten to it. In the meantime, I do have some photos (and one awesome video) to post from our appointment yesterday. The boys continue to grow at record speeds and the doctor gave me kudos for working full time while battling my headaches an growing these babies!
Some milestones over the past few weeks?
- At week 21 or so at 5 p.m. one night while I was working just a little bit late awaiting my handsome husbands arrival to pick me up, I felt movement for the first time. It was a very distinct feeling. Nothing on the outside but it was definitley more than a "fluttering" feeling. More like a twing, a muscle spasm that lasted a few seconds or more. Needless to say, this was VERY exciting!
- At almost week 23 (December 28th at 3 a.m.) I felt movement for the first time on the outside!! How would I know? Well, I had been extremely sick on Monday due to a nasty migraine, so I ended up in bed at 8 a.m......hello 2 a.m. WIDE awake. I laid around for a bit, and then it happened. "What was that"? I said to myself......"hum, that felt really weird". I waited a little longer, and it was still happening. So I put my hand down on the side of my belly, and I felt KICKS!!! Baby B was partying like a rockstar at 3 a.m.!!! So, what would a good, kind, patient, understanding wife do knowing her husband was exhausted and sound asleep? Wait to tell him in the morning. Well, have to say, I am not any of those things because I reached right over and was poking and prodding, "honey!! The baby's moving! It's kicking!!!" He whips off his mask (sexy I know) and all disoriented says, "What, where?!" And here comes this big heavy hand over my body and clamps on my belly. Then, nothing.....I thought, "Oh no....I woke him for this and now the baby is going to stop kicking and he'll fall asleep again before he can feel it". All of a sudden he goes, "I FELT IT!!" It was such an exciting moment for us and I am so thankful that we were together for it the first time. I could have been at work or in the shower and he could have missed it. As it turns out, he was very thankful I woke him.
- So, then at the doctor yesterday, we were telling Dr. Davies how we had just felt Baby B kicking a few nights before for the first time and I mentioned how now I was wondering when we would feel Baby A, we knew it would take longer due to his plaenta being in the front. Yesterday when we got home from the doctor.....Baby A started kicking up a storm!!! What? HOW AWESOME! He was a little more faint, but definitley there! And, I knew it was Baby A due to the fact we had just been at the doctor for an ultrasound so they told us exactly how and where each of the babies was laying.....now, they go all the time! They are going to be athletic!! So, without any more rambling, you do know how I can get....here are the latest on the boys! Enjoy!

Twin A was told to be coming in at 1 lb 4 oz. The lab tech measured his femur and said, "Whoa....either that's a tall baby or I have my measurements wrong.....nope, it's a tall baby"! We once again saw all four of his heart chambers and just as Baby B was doing last time, Baby A was drinking this time. They were so kind as to make us a video clip of it. It's only 3 seconds long or so, so you may need to view it a couple of times, but you can see his tounge moving and see him swallowing. Baby A came in at the 56% percentile for a single baby.




Twin B was just hanging out. He was said to be coming in at 1 lb 6 oz. And measuring in the 80% percentile for a single baby.....once again, when we met with the doc he said, "they are both excellent size for single babies". I told him that wasn't the first time he had told us that!! They did say, whatever I was doing, to continue doing it! So far, I have gained 15 lbs. I think that for being in my 7th month, that's not too bad, but I know there is a way to go!

The last picture is my favorite.....it's a picture of Baby B from the back with his arm up by his head. I'm not sure why it's so endearing to me, but it is. These boys are already so special to us and so loved, we feel so blessed to be able to see them so often. We are getting really excited to meet them, and for all of you to meet them as well! Pregnancy may not be the "blast" that I thought it would be, but the fact that we've had an uncomplicated pregnancy (although a sympomatic one) is also a blessing. I promise to post belly photos later.....trust me.....I've gotten HUGE!

Week 19

I can't believe how big I am getting SO FAST!



















We were back to the doctor today for our "BIG" anatomy scan.....everything is great! Both babies are doing really well. The heart, kidneys, bladder, stomach, brain, spinal cord, etc. checked out normal! Phew...I tell you, I may have been praying for one girl last time, but I've never prayed so hard as this morning when they were checking the boys over. They even checked the nose and lip to see about cleft lip....very through. On top of that, they are each tracking about 5 days ahead of schedule and are 49% and 51% in size - very good size for a single baby let alone twins they said :) Each weighs about 10 oz right now and they were unable to get a length at this point as they stop doing that around 13 weeks they said since they are so curled up right now. It was pretty exciting! The ultrasound tech really had a difficult time scanning each of the babies individually as they were SO CLOSE together. Then she showed us, she said, "look, Baby B's butt is on Baby's A's head"! I'm sure that'll be one we'll tell the boys all the time. I can just see it now, they roll their eyes at me and say, "Mooooom, you've told that story like 100 times"! Not much else happened, as John said, our visit with our doctor is always anti climatic.....we are really having a normal pregnancy. They said that my cervix looked good....it's "holding up" they said which is important with twins....when the cervix doesn't hold up is when the babies come early. Not that I'm a doctor, it's just what I kinda gathered. We did discuss my migraines as I am still getting them two times a week or more. Doc put me on Imitrex and wants me to try that as opposed to the narcotics they had been giving me. In my opinion....I don't much care WHAT I take (as long as it's okay for the babies of course) as long as it WORKS! So, we'll give that a shot! Next appointment will be the end of December. We'll have one more appointment in January and then beginning in February is when we will start going twice a month. The babies are moving around in there (nothing that I can feel yet) but they did say that as of right now, Baby A's head is in the downward position which is ideal for a vaginal birth. They said that can change of course, but I'm hopefully optimistic we'll be able to skip the c-section. Here are some pictures of the boys:

Twin B was actually drinking while we were looking at him....pretty neat!!

18 Weeks - Happy Thanksgiving!

So, 18 weeks is just about halfway to our "modified" due date. Doc said plan on 37 weeks, so that's what I'm aiming for. I've still not felt movement from the boys, not that I can tell for sure in any case. I've been concentrating more on Baby B vs. Baby A only because they said that Baby A's placenta is in the front so we won't feel him for quite some time yet. He's got to get a pretty strong kick going before we'll be able to feel it through the placenta. So.....I'm still growing at a fast pace. You can't really tell until you lift the shirt....then it's like, "whoa Mama"!! My mom had taken to calling me "little mama" but now that Biff (my sis-in-law) is preggo again, SHE gets the title of "little mama" and I've been upgraded to "big mama"....oh well, it was nice to be "little mama" for a while :)
Thanksgiving was spectacular. Yummy food and as always, great to spend time with the fam. I do however always miss John's family a bit around the Holiday's.....I am happy to be settled so close to my family and to be able to experience the boys (nephews) and be near my parents, but I feel badly that we aren't able to have the same level of interaction with the Fallon Family. We aren't taking our annual New Year's Eve trip out East this year either. We usually go the week between Christmas and New Years, but there's just too much going on this year.....we have lots to do yet to get ready. So, John's Mom and Dad will be coming to stay with us for that week instead. Looking forward to having them, it'll be a bit of a shock for them, they've not yet been here in the dead of winter before! I'm sure we'll have the fireplace going non stop. Well, not much else to say......hope Thanksgiving was good for everyone and that you all got a little shopping done. 18 week pictures are posted for your "viewing pleasure". Love!

17 Weeks

WoW!!! I cannot believe the way my belly is growing at such an alarmingly FAST rate!! I can only hope that all the weight I am gaining is going right to the baby and not to my hips and butt! And, if there's anything I could wish for to avoid would be, "Please, do not let me grow a double chin"!! :) I am still feeling pretty good....a little relapse of the migraines, but now with our "long-term treatment plan" in place, the severity of them should be lessened. I'm having fears that with how the pregnancy has gone (having every pregnancy symptom under the sun) that my labor is going to also be just as bad!! Not that there's a good labor I imagine, but I would be okay with an uneventful, quick labor. I've been doing a ton of research and a ton of shopping to prepare for these little ones. With the help of my good pal De, I've been able to find some steller deals on used baby equipment online and with my good pal Bish (Em) I've been able to bounce my worries and concerns without having to call the health care professionals daily....to both of you, I thank you!! And, as long as I'm giving thanks to people (what, I must think I won an Emmy or something huh?) I need to give a shout out to my darling husband as well. Although it's my body going through all of this, he still considers it a team effort....it's actually quite comforting. We'll see how thankful I am for him once we start putting the cribs together....let's just say we have completly different opperational processes.....he is a strict "by the book" have to read the directions and I am, "hum....this looks like it goes here....what are all these spare parts?" Good pal and neighbor Christine (Stinger) has offered to assist John as she has seen the two of us trying to put things together before....Thanks Stinger!! I can't tell you much else, but I do know that as I get older and my life expereinces are changing, one thing remains the same......good friends and a solid support structure are important and VERY hard to find. True friends really stand up in the front and it's so clear who you can count on.....even if you don't see them for years at a time.....looking forward to having lunch tomorrow with once such friend. As always, thank you all (all 5 of you) for your love and support. We'll have another ultrasound in a couple weeks and I'll have more to report then....we'll see how big these boys are getting!!
XoXo

16 Weeks

So, here I am again blogging two weeks at a time. It's not like the nostalgia of having a blog has worn off or anything, it's just that there's not a whole lot going on right now. I have made a trip back to the ER for fluids, at this time, my morning sickness has passed, but I have now developed migraines! It's pretty rough at the time....what with the throwing up and the bloody noses, but once it's passed, I have to say I feel SO much better and I am back to enjoying pregnancy again!

The verdict is in!!

BABY A is a ????????




BABY B is a??????





What do we have to say about it????? OH BOY!

15 Weeks

Wow.....15 weeks already!!!! That seems almost impossible. We are almost half way through. Well, halfway through to our "modified" due date. We have an appointment tomorrow and we are really excited! We are hoping that since our doctor does an ultrasound every time we go, that we may be able to find out tomorrow what the babies are!! As you all have probably read on Facebook, our cribs have been ordered, sent, and delivered and are sitting in the nursery awaiting assembly. We also got a changing table/dresser too.....a lot of furniture for one little room......our fertility doctor checked up on us yesterday and as I told her, it all seems so surreal - like the stork still brings the babies! :) I am sure once they start moving around it will all seem a bit more real. I can't wait!!

So, what's been going on in the past few weeks? Well, my morning sickness has subsided a bit only in the last week. Last Monday and Tuesday I was so incredibly sick that I ended up calling the nurse line on Tuesday morning as I was worried that I'd not been able to keep any fluids or food down. I am not usually a nervous nelly in general, but I was starting to worry about the babies. So, our dietitian appointment was canceled on Tuesday and I was told to head to OB Triage. That's where I spent the day. My husband, my loving and wonderful husband spent the day with me as I lay on the hospital bed feeling like a kicked dogs as they gave me some IV fluids and some anti nausea medication. We did at one point say that it was kind of good that this happened......we got the "lay of the land" and now know a little bit more about where to go on "that day". I haven't been sick since last Tuesday, have felt a little queasy almost every day, but thankfully everything has stayed down. I have a "war wound" to show for my bravery....or lack thereof!

What else? Hum....not much. Looking forward to our doctor appointment tomorrow. Oh! Also!! Depending on how John's health insurance matches up to mine....cost, deductible, coverage, etc. I may be staying home with the babies. If we send them to day care....either full time, part time whatever......I will not make enough in a year to cover what it costs to send them to daycare. And I'm not really comfortable sending them to a stay at home mom.....for that, I could do it myself. And it's been hard to find in-home day cares that will take two infants at one time. So this week that has been our "discussions".

Stay tuned! I'll upload new pictures (sonograms) tomorrow.....although if we find out what we are having tomorrow, you'll probably know WELL before this gets updated!

Thanks all for your continued kind words and friendship. I don't know what I would do without you!

12 Weeks

Okay.....I'm bad I know. It's been quite some time since I've last updated :( I have a hard time these days finding the energy to do anything. So, I've been keeping a little "log" of things to remember when I do go and update. So, the babies are no longer "blobs". They are starting to resemble actual babies. We are so lucky to be able to see them each time we go in for an appointment. We did tell the nurse during this appointment that I've been pretty sick. My morning sickness started around 10 weeks, just when I thought I was going to get by without any! HAHAHA! Other than that I really haven't been experiencing any physical changes, no mood swings, no cravings, no major weight gain. I can still sleep on my side and on my belly just fine. I have however noticed that I mistype words a lot and have a hard time completing sentences.....my sister calls it "pregnant stupid brain" although I'm not exactly sure that's a clinical term :)

Anyone checking the blog today?

Today would be the perfect day to check it!!

Anyone have advise for us? We'll take it now! All I can say is WOW!!!

"I hear Congratulations are in order"!

I heard that a lot yesterday at the family reunion......but it was never followed up by the actual "Congratulations"....does anyone know that by saying, "I hear Congratulations are in order" that the person is in fact at that moment saying Congratulations? Just saying......

It's only been 1 1/2 weeks since my last post, but due to the frequency of the prior posts and the hub-bub surrounding said posts, it feels like MUCH longer. I hadn't planned on posting again until I had something to "report", but I've been requested to keep up to date!! Okay...fine by me, posting is therapeutic to me, while I'm sure it's entertaining to you!! LOL.

There's not a lot to report......we will be 6 weeks tomorrow (from what the doc told me last week), so....my prior post was incorrect. In any case, we are steadily pushing 2 months!!! What am I experiencing? Well, I haven't had any mood swings or outbursts......I haven't had any sickness......no weight gain (yet)......but I am increasingly tired!! I am sleeping a little better at night, in the beginning I was having such horrible cramps and pelvic pain, but that's all seemed to subside, I haven't had to take any Tylenol in over a week. My breast are definitely tender and more full.....I am already wearing a bra when I sleep at nigh.....heaven help me, but we went to the Mall on Saturday to look for "maternity bras" (which by the way I didn't think were ANY different that a normal bra) and I thought, "hum....I better look for a DD, I'll be growing soon".....to my horror, when I picked it off the rack, I had this horrible picture of the cup fitting over my head!!!!!! DD is a BIG CUP!!! Needless to say, I decided to wait on buying a new bra!! Hum....what else? I have noticed that at times I seem to have a permanent "lump" in my throat, I feel that I may burst into tears at any time. I'm sure that's half associated with the pregnancy and 1/2 associated with the sleeplessness at night.

For those of you who have talked me through the last couple of weeks and shared your experiences, I thank you. PLEASE, keep sharing - not only does it help to know what to expect, but "chatting" with you all helps to pass time.

I don't have much else. By what I've read so far, we'll be in a holding pattern for a few more weeks before we see any more developments. OH!! BY THE WAY - I almost forgot. We have an ultrasound on September 13 (two days after we get back from vacation).....it's not yet prenatal, it's called a "confirmation of pregnancy" ultrasound. They just check to make sure that the pregnancy is viable and that there is a sac and a fetus. We won't be able to hear a heartbeat yet, but we will be able to SEE IT!! There's a upside to the appointment and a downside.....the upside is that we find out at this appointment if we are having 1 or 2!!!!! Depending on the day, I have different opinions on how many are in there. Today, I think there are two in there. The downside.....John will be traveling in Europe during that appointment and won't be home until the 21st of September......so sad. My mom is going to go with me. We meet with a physician after the ultrasound and will hopefully get a full report....wish us luck!!

We leave on Saturday the 4th for our beach vacation in North Carolina. I can tell you, we are EXTREMELY excited......My poor husband is in desperate need of a vacation......

Fairy Tale Ending?

I sure hope so!! It's official....WE ARE PREGNANT!! In fact, the nurse told us that with our numbers (anything >5 measures, they look for at least 50, we were at 213) it was a "very positive result"! WOOO HOOOO!! We are both shocked, excited, elated, nervous, and relieved!!

Sorry it took me so long to post, but we had to notify the fam first - and kind of (it's hard) trying to keep it on the D.L. for a few more weeks, since we are so early yet.

I can't figure it exactly, because we became pregnant via less than conventional methods, but closest to my calculation, we are approx. 5 weeks today!

So, again.....thanks for all of your love, support, and quirky advice.....we love you all for it, and for the people you are!!!

Operation Make Fallon Baby is a success!!!

I am a BIG FAT LIAR!

Well, I've said all along that I wasn't going to "sneak a test" and what did I lay in bed scheming about this morning? What day I'm going to sneak a test!! LOL! So, nothing final until Thursday, but what a nice way to start off a week!!

"Hurry up and Wait"

So, we are in the middle of our waiting period and desperatly looking for other things to keep our thoughts otherwise occupied. John traveled for work yesterday and today so he's keeping busy. I went to a movie with a friend last night and then slept probably the best I have in the last week or so! Sorry honey....I ususally don't sleep well without you, but I needed it last night! We have a full weekend ahead of us to keep us busy (cook out with the Gergens Friday and Irish Fest with the Blecks on Saturday).....and then before you know it, next week will be upon us and we'll be getting our results. I can tell you that I have a very good feeling!!

Anyone have any suggestions on how to clear our minds?

The Eagle has landed

Today was implantation day for the Fallon's. Of the 6 embryo's that were not frozen we had 3 strong candidates, 2 of which were implanted today. The 3 lagging embryo's have 1 more day to catch up. If they catch up they will be frozen along with the 1 remaining strong embryo. We will have our blood test to see if we are pregnant on August 19th. The procedure went very well and we are optimistic. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers and we will update all when we hear the good news. Thanks again for those of you have offered us your support. We appreciate it.

Tomorrow - the end of one journey

We just got the call from the Lab. We are set for our transfer for 6:30 tomorrow morning. Very apprehensive....even more so since they had NO information besides that for us. We don't know how many embryos made it, we don't know the quality of the embryos, we don't know how they divided, how they were graded.....throughout this whole process, the power of knowledge has made us feel a little more comfortable than if we were just blindly going along......in this case, we have no other option. I called back to see if they could give me any additional information and she said no - she didn't know anything more. She (the nurse) then said, "what I typically tell people is 'no news is good news', I can tell you that since they haven't called you before now, that means at least 3 are still going strong". She said that they would have more information for us tomorrow about the two embryos they'll be placing back in, and an update on the remaining embryos besides those we transfer.

So, in short.....I'm not going to call everyone, text everyone, email everyone.....K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid) - if you are reading this, you are our faithful followers and it is your prayers that have and will continue to carry us through...please pray for us, and wish us well. We are hoping to finish this journey and move on to the next.....more rewarding and a HECK of a lot MORE fun! I can't tell you how thankful and blessed we are to have people like you in our lives. You've all be so kind and caring, we can never repay you for your support.

LOL!

Well, I haven't posted since we got our results last Friday, and reading through that last post, for a split second I thought, "who posted this? John?"......that extreme excitement and optimism was so out of character for me, I didn't remember it was me!! This journey has been so full of ups and down and expectations and disappointments, I thought I was immune to extreme swings...guess not!! LOL....to read that, you would have thought we won the lottery!

No calls from the Clinic all weekend. That's supposed to be a good thing. If the embryos weren't surviving or doing as well as they wanted, they would have called us in for an early transfer. So, while I am DYING to know how the little eggos are doing.....I guess I can wait until we receive our instructions today.....come on, hurry up already! Not sure what time our transfer will be tomorrow (hence waiting on pins and needles for this phone call), they did say that if there were any retrievals, they would go first. Months ago they did a "mock transfer"....just to get an idea of how the actual transfer would go....where things are, distance to the center of the uterus, make sure nothing was blocked......I have kind of an idea of how things will go tomorrow. Best part....John gets to don a pair of scrubs and join me!! (That, and they'll give me a Valium to relax me.....not sure why....but hey....who am I to complain). That's all I know right now.

Oh....we had Drake overnight on Saturday.....That makes 3 overnight visits from the nephews within the past month.....Coming off of that, we definitely DO NOT have "rose colored glasses" when it comes to thinking how parenting will go, but it reinforced the fact that we know we can do this, we know we will do good, and most importantly, we know we are ready. John was a tad nervous on Saturday when we couldn't get Drake to sleep (as was I) and he said, "we have absolutely no idea what to do with a baby - we know nothing"! I told him, "that's okay....we aren't supposed to". :)

OMG!

WOW! I am more posititive, upbeat, excited about our news today more so than any other news we've had during the past year of infertility treatment. The report.....

29 eggs retrieved. Although Dr. didn't know how many would be healthy, viable, mature eggs we ended up with

27 (!!!!!!!) eggs fertilized and

24 (!!!!!!!!!!) which fertilized normally!! HOLY BALLS!!! So excited right now. In all the research I've done, I have NEVER seen number that high!! So, they took 18 fertilized eggs right off the bat and froze them. We'll work with the 6 remaining embryos and hope that the two that go back in are healthy and "stick"!!! If any are left by day 5 besides what we put back in, they will head off to the freezer as well.

I don't think (actually I KNOW) we could have possibly received any better news today!!! Gone are the nerves.....we are ready to become parents!!

Retrieval Day

Things went very well. Beth is at home resting comfortably. We had 51 follicles and they retrieved 29 eggs. These are both excellent #'s. The magic # is 12 fertilized eggs. Hopefully we will exceed that. They will let us know the fertilization rate tomorrow. Then we will see how they progress. We are looking good to do the blastocyst stage transfer which has a higher success rate. That would put implantation most likely on Tuesday. We will keep our faithful followers posted. Say a little prayer. Thanks for all of the support!

Okay, I lied....here I am again

As I sit at work, I cannot find the ability nor the inclination to be productive. I am so precoccupied by tomorrows events that I just can't concentrate. On one hand, I am not nervous at all about the procedure and am extremely excited to report for surgery tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m., but on the other hand, a million new thoughts are occupying my mind. We are really hoping for 12 or more eggs in order to to the 5 day transfer which carries a better success rate, and while we know that we had 22 measurable follicles yesterday, we have no idea how many eggs we will actually get. So, worried about that and thinking, How many will actually make it to day 5, will there be any left to freeze.....I REALLY hope this works the first time.....I know lots of people who say, "oh.....you'll just have to try it again if it doesn't work"........part of me thinks.....this is it~ our one chance.....of course the fact that we'll have used up our lifetime "bucket" of infertility coverage with our insurance doesn't promote positive thoughts for a second round.....but I have to admit that me saying I WOULDN'T do it again right now may not be accurate A. We don't know how this cycle will turn out and B. My "DH" and I haven't yet had that Crucial Conversation.....anyway.....I thought that posting would be a good chance for me to get some of my frustrations out of my head and maybe make room for some more positive thoughts......like the fact that we could be taking a baby home on April 28, 2011!!

And!!! I learned a new "infertility" term today. After our transfer we will be PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise)

Something Fun~

As I've said before, if you know me, you know that I am a master googler....and I look EVERYTHING up. What I've learned about infertility is astounding and I thought I'd give you a little peek into the world of infertility!! As you can see, this was a HUGE learning experience for me when I first started to do my research. At least I use real words and terms to explain what's going on.....some of these other ladies are just plain CRAZY....read on.

The last year of our life - infertility speaking :)
Me: Perfect
DH: Perfect
2 Furbabies - Zoe and Champ
TTC: > 1year

We first met our RE in June of last year. They recommended Clomid for 3 - 4 cycles beginning on CD 5 - 9. This was the only medication I had SA from, major HF. We were then told to do BD when the OPK told us we were O. During all three cycles I didn't have to POAS because AF came. Once we moved on to IUI we were still doing the Clomid and we added on a couple of shots - and after eachIUI procedure, we were faced with the TWW which was pretty much hell. This time I was actualy able to POAS a couple of times, but got BFN and AF came shortly after that. Now we've moved on to IVF and things are 100X more involved/invasive/confusing than anything we had done before. We've finally finished with all of our injections (or will tonight - we take our HCG trigger tonight) and we will have our ER on Thursday with our ET on either Saturday or Tuesday. Then, we have to go through the TWW again (suck) and then we'll actually have a BT (I highly doubt I will be able to abstain from POAS though) as a PT this time. We are praying for a BFP - so please send some Baby Dust this way!!


DH: Dear Husband
Furbabies: Pets
TTC: Trying to Concieve
RE: Reproductive Endocrinologist
CD: Cycle Day
SA: Side Affect
HF: Hot Flash
BD: Baby Dance (sex)
OPK: Ovulation Predictor Kit
O: Ovulating
POAS: Pee on a Stick (pregnancy test)
BFN: Big Fat Negative
AF: Aunt Flow (monthly cycle)
IUI: Interuterine Insemination (placing sperm into the fallopian tube - to "help" it along)
TWW: Two Week Wait (amount of time before pregnancy test would work)
HCG: Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (will tell my body to release eggs made)
IVF: Invitro Fertilization (Fertilizing an egg with sperm and replacing an embryo into the womb)
ER: Egg Retrieval
ET: Embryo Transfer
BT: Beta/Blood Test
PT: Pregnancy Test
BFP: Big Fat Positive
Baby Dust: Thoughts and Prayers
Follicles - fluid which contain eggs (not all follicles contain eggs)

Yep, Last day of shots!

Just got the call. We will trigger tonight! 8 p.m. give or take 5 minutes (this one is very time sensitive) and then we report to Methodist for our retrieval at 6:30 Thursday morning. They said it should take 45 minutes to an hour and that I'll be asleep for it. I just sent my sister-in-law a message and asked if she could do our shot for us. I think both John and I would both feel a ton better if we had a professional do it....and then she can tell our baby, "I had a hand in your making"! My E2 level came in at 4,658 which could very well explain why I'm not feeling the greatest......that's a lot of hormones! They said that tentatively, right now we can look at doing a 5 day (wooo hooo) transfer based solely on the amount of follicles I have, but we won't know for sure until the 6th when we see how many eggs were actually retrieved and how the fertilization process went. Wish us luck for lots of eggos! I'm a bit in shock! It's time to really get down to the nitty gritty! The next post you see will most likely be from John giving an update on how the retrieval went......

Last day of shots???

Had more blood drawn this morning, will have to wait until this afternoon to see how the results turn out. The ultrasound this morning didn't show much more than yesterday. Again, we'll have to see what they say. Yesterday they said I was "So Close", so hopefully the minor changes we saw today are what we needed to move forward.

Speaking of moving forward.....I am officially TERRIFIED! I was up all night last night just obsessing.....over doses of medicine, over calculated days, and most of all.....the final (trigger) shot tonight. It's an IM and the needle is huge....and JOHN HAS TO DO IT!! So....pretty nervous about that. And after everything is said and done, I had that one fleeting second yesterday where I thought, "what happens if this works"? Meaning, we've been so wrapped up in schedules, timelines, medicines, appointments, procedures, etc. for over the past year.....we've (more so I) haven't even had the chance to say, "what happens if we're pregnant"? So, now I'll be able to focus on the fact that we are actually going to be parents!!

Keep you posted.

8/2/2010 - Results

Just got the call. Besides the follicles that are measuring, my E2 level came in at 2,412 today. So.....they said close, but not yet. Back to the two shots tonight and return in the a.m. for blood and ultrasound. Kind of okay with it (prolongs the scary trigger shot) kinda ready for the next steps. They did however say that they think tomorrow I'll be ready to trigger. That means we will most likely have our retrieval on Thursday and our transfer either Saturday or Tuesday. Not much else....this really is a waiting game. Changes day to day.

Starting to get a good feeling!!

So, I'm not sure how the blood results will come in for the day, but after my ultrasound, I'm feeling pretty positive. Yesterday John updated on how many follicles we had and today.....there are a ton more!! I had 4 on my left ovary yesterday - and I got to thinking....hum....there are so many more on my right ovary....and that's the side I do my Stimulating shot.....I wonder if I did it on the left side if it would be a more direct route and get those puppies to grow over there....so, last night I tried the Stim shot on the left side and today......there were 10 follicles on the left side!!! WOW! And the right side measured 8 follicles. They ranged anywhere from 13 to 18. There were still >10 on each side that weren't measuring. I know that not every follicle contains an egg, but I am really hoping and praying that we are able to get >12 eggs so we can do the 5 day transfer and still have some left over to freeze. Will keep you posted. Should have my message around 3 p.m.
Wooo Hoo!

Good way to start the week

Beth and I woke up for an early morning ultrasound and some blood work. Without further adieu here are the results. Beth had 12 measurable follicles, this is huge improvement since she had none on Friday. Her e2 estrodoil level shot up from 585 on Friday to 1345 today! All in all this is excellent progress and we are right where we need to be. So after Friday's scare we are back on track. We need to stay on the 3 shots a say routine today and most likely tomorrow. That means hopefully we will do the HCG shot on Tuesday and go in for the procedure to harvest the eggs on Thursday. Depending upon the # of eggs harvested and how the fertilization progresses we will either do the implantation of the fertilized eggs on either Saturday or Tuesday. We are hoping for Tuesday, as the success rates go from ~50% to ~65% with the later stage transfer. But that is in Gods hands. We are relieved with todays results and are exhausted from a stressful week. I can attest that IVF really is an emotional rollercoaster ride, and I can only imagine how hard it has been on Beth. She has been a trooper. She has handled every obstacle thrown our way and I am truly blessed to have married such an incredible person. Thanks Baby, you truly are the greatest.

Phew! Results are in!!

First, I have to say that I really wish people wouldn't feel the need to tell me what they think may happen. Leave it to the doctors.

The report:

"your estrogen level has continued to go up nicely. You were at 585 today (from 193 on Wednesday). There are no measurable follicles, however there are lots and lots of follicles, we are just unable to measure them at this time. Go ahead and continue taking your Gonal F at 225 your Menapur at 75 and your Luperon at 10. Come in Sunday for more blood work and another ultrasound"!

I feel TONS better about that. Just a roller-coaster. So, more to report on Sunday!

Friday a.m. appointment

I am a little nervous after speaking with the nurse following my appointments. I have > 10 follicles on my left ovary and >10 on my right…..but, none of measurable size. She said they aren't "sprouting". So, when I told her that I wouldn't have enough Gonal F - to make it through Sunday, the nurse wrote me another perscription for another 900 unit Gonal F pen. ($650). The crappy part was that she said they may decide to "totally restart the cycle"….????? Um…what's that mean? She said that they may decide to stop all medication right now, let me finish out this cycle. And START OVER FROM THE VERY BEGINNING next month. So…..it would be $1850 down the drain in medication and 40 needle sticks for nothing. She said that they may try to get more follicles right off the bat next time. Um…..I didn't think that 20 follicles was bad!!
So, we'll see. Have to call into the "special" number to get my "special" message this afternoon.

Phew

Okay.....I was wrong.....nice surprise, the refill only came to $650. I was confused and thought it was the price of all the stuff we originally bought.

So......hopefully this "boosts" things up and double hopefully we won't even need to use all of the second 900 pen.

Results

Well.....I waiting on pins and needles for most of the day, pulling out my trustycalendar and doing scenarios in my head of when we'd get to retrieve and transfer.....but alas, I guess I am a slow responder. My estradiol level is at 193 which is kind of low. They like to see it higher than that so they are boosting my Gonal-F dosage from 150 to 225 every night. That means that instead of getting through the 900 pen ($1,100) and only needing another 300 pen (400.00) we need to go through another 900 before our transfer. So, another $1,100 vs. $400.......and....most likely a refill on the Luperon - not to mention the second half of our drugs that we haven't yet picked up. The antibiotics, the progesterone, and the Trigger shot. Phew.....I know, I know....I'm a downer. So, we are potentially back into the week of the 9th for our transfer.....I was actually hoping to get in THIS WEEKEND for our retrieval and early next week for the transfer......but.....that's what I get for being slow. I guess my ovaries have decided to take a page from my book and be procrastinators!!

So, I am back in for bloods and an ultrasound on Friday. Hopefully I'll have made up for being a slow starter and we'll be right back on track!???

First blood tests today

Kind of excited for our results......we'll have a much better idea today of when we'll be able to move on to the next step. They'll need to tell us how much of our medications we need to refill (gives us an idea of how many more days) and we'll set up our follicle tracking ultrasound.....they had said the other day, possibly Friday. Perhaps we'll be able to trigger Friday night and have our retrieval on Sunday.....if not, it will be first part of next week! Hum....so much for it "dragging on"......I'll keep you posted!

And now I am a pin-cushion

Feels All Alone in Here

Where's "in here"? My head of course. Unfortunately, this is one of those things where people can't say, "I understand what you mean", or "here's my experience", or it would be nice to hear, "this is what you can expect next".....instead, I have these all consuming thoughts of what I (we) are going through and I just feel lost in my head. Yes, husbands are great, and yes, they sit and patiently watch as you give yourself your daily injections of "raging hormones" and in some cases, they help out and do the shots for you (thanks for the raging hormones). But, just kidding the other night after John asked how one of my more unpleasant shots went, I said, "I think you should take one of these syringes and inject something into yourself". Half kidding, but half serious too. Thanks honey for being so kind and understanding and patient, but "It" went as well as can be expected.

I guess that I feel a bit like an outcast. No one that I know (personally) has struggled with infertility, and have had to go down this long, involved, complicated, and emotional road. They don't know what questions to ask and they really can't relate as everyone I know has been able to conceive naturally, and in some cases, without trying. I am NOT going to begrudge any of my beloved friends or family, but sometimes, it was hard to sit by and watch them celebrate their joys while we struggled, but this is hard on an entirely different level.......

Hum.....need to do something to pull out of this "funk".....how about the 10 ten things to never tell a couple experiencing infertility?


1. You must be having lots of fun trying!
????? Really? Timed intercourse at certain times on certain days is fun?

2. I don't agree with artificial reproduction....if God wanted you to be a parent, it would have
happened naturally.
I'm glad you put your trust in God, but I think if he knew how you'd raise those naturally
conceived children, he wouldn't have given them to you.

3. So, what's the cause of infertility?
You tell me doc, you're the professional (no joke).

4. Have you thought of a surrogate?
Are you volunteering?

5. Have you read (insert book title)? I learned so much about my cycle.......
Girlfriend, I have an intimate relationship with my cycle (along with about 4 doctors who
regularly stick their heads up my "woo who") - ain't nothing a book is going to teach me.

6. Oh, so are you going to end up with like 8 babies?
Um, no. Where were you when we did 4 cycles of IUI? That's where multiples come from.
As Teresa would say (Desperate Housewives of New Jersey) "Pay Attention"!

7. I know of this one couple who.......
Yes, yes, I know.....your second cousins - first born child had a - neighbor who used to - work
with someone that - had a friend that..........

8. Have you thought about adoption?
Have YOU thought about adoption?

9. You're young yet!
Yes, and I'd like to get pregnant while I am "still young yet". Nothings a guarantee - we
aren't willing to waste another 5 years "waiting" for something to happen. We'd like to have
more than 1 child.

10. It will happen when you stop trying
If planning a wedding, selling a house, buying a house, hosting a Holiday, and taking two
vacations doesn't "take our mind off of it", please - pray tell - what will?

Our "collection" thus far

This is just the first 1/2 of our medication. We'll have another injection pen after this along with a HCG shot, suppositories, and antibiotics.

Oh How Things Can Change

So, after the disappointing news from the Clinic the other day, we had resigned ourselves to the fact that we were now three weeks away from our goal instead of two (not to mention, we'd be able to each collect another paycheck before we had to purchase our next round of medication). Then as I called in with my updates yesterday they say, "would you like me to check with the doctors to see if you can start you next rounds of medications tonight instead of waiting until next Friday?" Um......okay.......I was told the day prior that that wasn't an option. Once again, I am confused with conflicting information, but what the heck, I said, "that would be great"! So.....three hours and $1,100.00 later we were able to start on our stimulating drugs. Whooo Hoooo!! So.....I guess that means we are back in the ball park to have our retrieval the first week in August.

These medications are a bit more work....especially the one that we have to put a special cap on to mix. We have to take liquid from one vial and put it into another vial that contains disolvable tab.....then has a different cap for injection. AND that one STINGS! The other medication is in a pen. Again with a weird cap on it, but at least that one we just dial to the dosage we need and in it goes. All of these are belly shots.....only one will be in the muscle.....not looking forward to that. So, yeah for us! One step closer.

And so it starts.......

SOOO Frustrating! Our first round of disappointing news. Went in for blood work and an ultrasound this morning so that we could add on our next round of injections tomorrow and we were denied. We now need to continue on the Luperon injections until next Friday when we add in the additional two injections. Just really bummed.....another week of waiting, and another week of useless shots. If I had been able to start on the other meds tomorrow, I wouldn't have to go and purchase additional medication which I don't need. Brutal. So, instead of having our retrieval on the 31st, it now looks like it will be the 8th. So now we won't find out if it's successful until a week and a half before our beach trip....that will really be a great trip if we've just gotten bad news.

Oh well. Discouraged has long been the name of the game for us.

Well this is my first post as "the other Fallon" I agree with Beth that I wish things moved faster. It feels like we made the decision to move ahead with IVF months ago. Patience has never been my strong suit, just ask Beth. That being said I am at least trying to enjoy the journey. We know that in the end it will be worth it, as the saying goes "sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze". We appreciate all of the support we have received from our family and friends.

So Slow?

So far so good. No tears, outbursts, mood swings, appitite changes or any other major changes that I can tell from the medications. I am surprised at how SLOW I feel this is going. It's not that I am impatient, it's just that there are A LOT of steps! We basically started this process the day that we had our tests and then subsequently, started on the first medication, so that would be back on June 26!! Now, it's close to a month later and we have almost another month from there. There's not much more to report, I have to go in for blood work and an ultrasound on Thursday, and we'll know more from there. The two medications I am on right now are supposed to "put my overies to sleep".....not sure what they'll be checking for (perhaps my overies need to be in the REM cycle?) but I do know that 1. they said that I'll probably have to have 2 or 3 ultrasounds (every other day) before they see the results they desire to add on the next medication (hyperstimulating drugs) and 2. the next medication is always started on a Friday. So, most likely we'll be starting the next med on the 30th. I'm very confused as to what happens after the appointment on Thursday, I think I just do what they tell me to on a daily basis.
We'd like to thank everyone for their support, not only for following the blog, but for your concern, care, comments, and love. More to come!

Reflections on Men vs. Women

Day 2! So far so good. These shots haven't been bad at all. The needles are small enough and I have lot's of belly flab to be sticking so that's a positive! LOL. Seriously though, I haven't experienced any anxiety over the shots and I don't look like a human pin cushion yet….but there's time for that once I start on the 3 shots a day.
I've been thinking a lot on the differences between men and women and how they handle situations. For example, take this whole infertility fiasco. The place where I used to work, several of the men I worked with went through IVF. The bizarre part was, one day they decided to do it, then the next time you heard anything about it, they were having the baby! At the time, it was easy enough to just take the situation at face value, "oh, they don't say anything about it, must not be that big of a deal". Going through it myself, I really feel for their wives…..if only they could be as nonchalant about the process as their seemingly insensitive husbands had been. I know that for John and I, we get the situation in its entirety and I know that were anyone to ask John about it, he wouldn't be like, "it's no big deal". He would most likely say something along the lines of, "it's involved, complicated, stressful, expensive, and I am thankful to my wife because she's bearing the brunt of the whole process"…..and the more I think about seeing the reactions of those men in the past, it makes me even more thankful for the man that I've married….I don't feel like I'm going through this alone at all. Granted, I am the one sticking needles in my body and having multiple surgeries…..but he's there with me, and he is sensitive, and I am grateful for him every day. But I also know that when we do have our children, my husband won't be one of the "I can't have drinks, I have to babysit tonight", my husband will be one of the, "I can't golf, I have to parent tonight". I've got a keeper!
Exciting weekend coming up! Tonight we are having dinner with some close friends…..kind of a bon voyage for them as the husband has accepted a transfer and our good friends (with their adorable 3 little boys) will be moving to Wisconsin…..very sad. But, then on Saturday we are going to pick up our nephew Andy and spend the night with him!! Very exciting….we love our nieces and nephews….no matter they be close or far away (which most of them are).

Offical Day 1 of "Operation Make Fallon Baby"

I honestly don't even know where to begin…..overwhelmed doesn't seem to be a strong enough word for how our day was yesterday. So much information coming at us all at once. Learning how to do several different shots, how to mix them, how much to administer, where to give them, what days to give which ones, morning or night?, etc. And at the end of the day, we only have our schedule mapped out to the 22nd of July….we had hoped to find out for sure what our retrieval dates and transfer dates would be, but it will be dependent upon ultrasounds and bloodwork along the way. It was a lot of information to process and once we got over the gut dropping experience of finding out how much this is all going to cost, we got right in line to fill the first of our prescriptions. I'll have to take a photo of all the needles and vials and our calendar.
I can tell you, that we will most likely have our harvest and potentially our transfer the first week of August so we do have an end in sight…..I am just really hoping and praying that it works the first time. I can't wait to just FINALLY be pregnant.
This has been a long, frustrating road. It's really interesting when you tell people what you are going through and no one really understands the situation. I can't tell you how many people, even those closest to us say, "you're trying too hard", "when you stop trying, it'll happen", "you're young yet", "oh, all this that you are going through will be worth it in the long run". Just one time I would love for someone to not have any witty remarks or advice for us. Just someone to listen and be understanding and sympathetic. We don't expect people to solve our problems, we are doing that on our own, we just expect people to support us. We don't need anyone to recommend any books to us, and yes, I know my body more than any normal woman probably ever will, so thank you.
So….Here we are! On our way…today is officially Day 1 of Operation Make Fallon Baby!!
We'd also like to take a moment to thank our one and only follower for their support….oh wait, it's John!! Thanks darling!!

Big appointment tomorrow!

Well, tomorrow is our 1/2 day IVF orientation....and really, I haven't stopped long enough to think about it and go, "WOW!! We are doing invitro"! So, it's pretty overwhelming, and it just seems like everythings been progressive up to this point. Always one more shot, one more doctor appointment, one more procedure, one more negative test, one more cycle, one more new treatment.....for over 12 months now. I am fairly confident in saying that we aren't "jumping the gun" by doing IVF...but there's always that part of me that's thinking, "maybe the next time would have worked". The irrational part of me says that.

So, needless to say, anyone who knows me well, knows that I've spent countless hours on the computer doing research. I've looked at everything from how the procedure works, to looking up sample calendars, to reading through other peoples journey with infertility and treatments eventually leading to IVF. It's been reassuring, but at the same time, I also know I need to remain objective and remember that it may not work the first time. We are praying that we get a good number of eggs and that a fair amount make it to the Blastocyst stage so we have options for our future.

So, by big appointment tomorrow I mean that we are going to be getting our COMPLETE IVF calendar! That means we'll know when we start shots, what day for what shots, how many shots per day, what days to go in for ultrasounds and bloodwork, what day to go in for egg retrieval, and ultimately, what day our transfer will take place. We should know tomorrow what date to look toward to take our test to find out once again, "if it worked".

First Time Blogger

Well, this is the first time I have ever "blogged" and there's a 50/50 chance that I'll keep it! Even if there are no "subscribers" I thought this was a good venue to keep everyone up to speed with everything going on with the Fallons!

Topic of conversation today (or seems to be everyday for the past several months).....baby stuff. We made the decision to go ahead with IVF, an while there is still a ways to go before we see an end in sight, we've come a long way already. We've had all of our blood work done, doc has us on antibiotics, and we have several more appointments scheduled - one of which is our 1/2 day orientation where we not only meet with docs, nursing, and the endocrinology lab, but we also get our formal schedule that day!! YEAH!! We should know to the exact day when they will harvest our eggs, implant them back, and the most important part, when we find out for sure if it worked or not!!!!

Aside from that, many of you know that I've recently accepted a transfer within Mayo and that it's going well, and that John is still at McNeilus.....doing, well, the best he can. And, another exciting event for us is our trip to the outter banks of North Carolina where we've rented a house for a week in September. And, more exciting......the house is 200 ft. from the Ocean!!!!

Well, that's it for now. Just wanted to see how this "stuff" worked.